


Love Killers

by alicat54c



Category: Greek and Roman Mythology, Original Work
Genre: Gen, Violent comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 11:09:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6003577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicat54c/pseuds/alicat54c
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Diane's psychiatrist recommended that she get a hobby after such a traumatic breakup, so she decides to hunt love gods.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Killers

**Author's Note:**

> An excerpt from my novel, which I'm thinking about putting on Amazon, so let me know if you're interested via comments.

...  
Unintentional voyeurism is the sad fate of any individual trying to find a quiet place to read in the park. Benches and tables, when devoid of the trappings of a family picnic, play host to every doting couple claiming to be searching for a little privacy, when in reality they simply wish to show off to the world the shameless level of intimacy they’ve achieved between themselves.

Bystanders caught in the shrapnel of unpleasant sucking sounds and giggles are forced to either flee, and pick up the shattered shards of their self consciousness in peace, or hunker down in their mental bunkers to wait out the bombs of love. Anyone courageous enough to push through their own discomfort to break up such public displays of affection, would be shot with goofy smiles from the lovers and rattling murmurs of, “Oh, I’m sorry, were we really that loud?” and on occasion dubious invitations and raised voices.

The light haired man under the pink blossoming cherry tree had chosen some variation of the second option, when it came to the young couple seated happily on one of the many wooden benches lining the park’s walkway. His own discreet glances and pleased smiles clearly pegged him as a man unlikely to utilize option one or three.

Behind him, her elbows propped on the surface of a wooden picnic table to balance the hard backed tome in her hands, a young woman’s eyes darted between the man and the couple. The book hid most of her face, though a light flush betrayed the speed at which her heart beat in her chest.

Eventually the couple came up for air, gasping and touching in a sickly display of affection. The younger of the two whispered something too naughty to vocalize above a breath, and they giggled again. Leaning heavily against each other, the couple stood like a badly constructed claw footed bathtub and shuffled from their previous perch, most likely to disconcert some other unfortunate bystanders in a different orientation. 

The light haired man waited until all of the couple’s various squeaks and squelches had faded away, before moving himself. He rose with a stretch from the grass, his fingertips easily catching a handful of flowers from above. Bemused he cocked an eye up at the tree, a grin threatening to break free of his marble features. The tree waived seductively at him with a silent breeze. The man chuckled, nodded to the flora, and tucked the bunch flowers behind his ear, before heading off.

The woman had watched this all unblinkingly, occasionally making small aborted gestures as if to approach the handsome stranger. Each time she fell short and clutched her modest bag closely to her side. When the man had almost vanished around a bend in the road, she came to a decision. Snapping her book shut, she tucked it safely into her purse, before getting up to follow him.

The light fully died by the time the man and his quiet pursuer exited the park’s ornate iron and brick gate. Lamps filled the grey blue streets with cones of orange, broken only by the whining of the wind whenever a bright eyed car rushed by. 

Two distinct clapping of feet danced across the pavement, until, near the front of an abandoned brunch cafe under on of the lights, the man stopped. He turned, the pink flowers seeming to lose their vibrancy and whither to brown in his hair.

“Is there any reason you’re following me, miss?” he said silkily.

Dressed smartly in a long dark coat, the woman had to put forth some effort to detach herself from the shadows. One hand fiddled in her pocket while the other clutched the strap of the purse which hung over her shoulder. 

“Hi,” her voice came in choked huffs, as if her heart was beating double time the recommended speed. Her eyes were downcast, the long lashes making longer shadows across her cheeks in the orange light.

“No need to be shy,” he chuckled, spreading his arms invitingly. “If you want, we can maybe grab some dinner and get to know one another?”

The hand in her pocket shifted, and a muffled ‘thunk’ struck the concrete by way of transversing the man’s foot. He yelped, pirouetting around the appendage, which was now fastened to the ground by way of an arrow. 

The woman looked up, eyes flashing above her disconcertingly wide baring of teeth. The man saw her and flinched. She put her left hand demurely in front of her mouth. “I’m sorry, I got into an accident as a child with a pin. It made my smile quite large, and I’ve been informed that it disturbs some people.”

“I was wondering if you would come for me,” he hissed through grit teeth, clutching at his leg. “Though I didn’t expect you to be, well-”

Her eyes crinkled. “And that’s why I’ve managed to kill so many of you.” He made to move, but her right hand lashed out, showing off the small crossbow and its loaded dart.

“Don’t try anything,” she growled. His eyes darted from the arrow to her no longer grinning face. He grimaced out a smirk.

“And what makes you think your little toy can hurt me?”

She shifted her shoulder in a shrug, aim never moving from her mark. “These are lead tipped with asphodel and cypress, and I think if you could move past the arrow in your foot, you would already be gone.”

A whoosh of air, not quite a sigh, not quite a hyperventilation, escaped his nose. “You’ve done your homework.”

Her grin returned, with slightly more pride than mania. “Gods of love are something of a speciality of mine.”

“Ah, I’ve heard rumors of you, but-” he trailed off, letting what he thought disappear into the void. He refocused sharply on her face. “You think something as inconsequential as death can stop me?”

He lunged, but her second shot had already been fired. The knife from his belt clattered to the floor, as his hand changed from a position ready to throw to one which could catch the disbelieving rivers of blood from his pierced heart. 

“Nice try, but I’ve killed Angus Mac Og’s, Hu Gadarn’s, and Cherubs. Among other things. You are nothing special. Love is so predictable!”

“They’ll find my body.” He was grasping at hairs. 

She laughed. “You are not human, you do not exist enough to leave a body behind. Once you’re dead it will be as though you had never been. No one will remember you, and all that you did will fade away and unravel.” Her two rows of teeth flashed. “I’ve done this a lot. You can’t scare me with death.”

The man gave one final gasp, before slumping over. The woman nudged him twice with her boot, before firing another arrow into his head for safe measure. With a sigh she put down her purse and folded her coat on top of it.

“I just washed these pants,” she groused, as she grasped the man’s bloody ankles and pulled him into the alleyway out of the orange light. She left him beside a dumpster overflowing with cardboard and unpleasant smells of life and decay.

If anyone were to look at that exact spot in the morning, they would only find a small depression in the garbage.  
...


End file.
